Time Flies By
by BigFan4242
Summary: She asked him for a simple story, just exactly what happened before she married his ex-husband. It'd been forty years, and still he remembered everything with exact detail.
1. Prologue: November 21, 2058

**Title: Time Flies By**

**Author: The one the only *trumpet plays* Bigfan4242! Or Charlette.**

**Pairing(s): Logan/Carlos. Slight Camille/Logan and Carlos/Stephanie. Not really, but still.**

**Warning(s): One little curse word in the dialogue.**

**Disclaimer: Not my original characters, Big Time Rush isn't mine. The Don McLean lyrics at the beginning aren't mine either. **

**Mood: Smilin' :[D**

**Listening to: Dear John-Taylor Swift (I'm not a big fan of Taylor but this has convince me otherwise, she's amazing. This song is beautiful in irony and lyrics.)**

**Author's Note: This was inspired by The Beatles' song 'When I'm 64'. It was a few weeks ago but happy belated birthday to John Lennon. You're seventy dude! Yahootie! **

**I hope you enjoy!**

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"_Bad news on the doorstep, I couldn't take one more step… __I don't remember if I cried, when I read about his widowed bride."_

_"American Pie" Don McLean_

Carlos couldn't believe he was actually doing this.

Forty years ago he had sworn to never see the face of the one woman who killed that little chance of him getting back with the one and only person he loved. He knew this was a stupid idea. He knew it would just bring back the painful memories of his broken heart that still was just barely healed. Maybe he shouldn't have listened to what everyone had told him. Then again, the woman just lost her husband. A few minutes to try and console her of the grief wouldn't kill him. But then again, he was sixty four and last week all of his kids and grand children got a panic attack when he started choking because he accidentally drank his water way too fast. Anything could of killed him quick.

He moved his right hand up in a swift but shaky movement and pounded the door with the tips of his knuckles. The son forced to take care of him that day left earlier to 'run some errands' and for Carlos to call him once he was done. Carlos laughed at this. He was once married too, his son didn't need to hide from him that he left to make love to his wife back at their apartment. Sucking a breath he heard the doorknob jiggle a bit before a small crevice of the house appeared in front of him, a breeze of cold air hitting him as he person opened the door ever farther.

"Hello?" an elderly woman answered wearily. Her dark brown hair was slowly thinning to grey and was in a small bun as a soft pink sun dress up to her ankles wrapped around her petite body with a small pair of dainty flats on her feet. Her voice seemed so different to when he heard her before, not screaming or crying or, whatever. It was sweet, and caring. But also very sad, and melancholy. She rubbed her eyes with her left hand yawning as Carlos smiled at her softly putting a hand gently to her shoulder giving it a slight squeeze, "W-who are you?"

"Camille! It's me Carlos." he told her laughing at the quick widening of her eyes as soon as he told her who he was, "I heard what happened."

"Carlos? Oh my god, come in, come in. I can't believe you're here." she whispered opening the door even more farther allowing Carlos some space for him to come inside. Carlos accepted the offer despite feeling as if someone slapped him behind the head for making such an idiotic choice. He had remembered when Logan and him bought the house. The way they were enchanted by how elegant and simple it looked, not like other houses in that neighborhood all flashy and ostentatious. The only thing he didn't recall was the small wooden swing set on the newly made garden on the side of the house. This gave him the assumption Logan had the kids they both dreamt of having prior to when they divorced each other, "Sit on one of those small chairs. I'm so sorry, I didn't know you were coming."

"I sorta came unexpectedly. It's okay." he replied cheerfully trying to keep a positive mood on adjusting his hip so when he sat down it wouldn't break or something. The house was exactly identical to how it was when he lived here. The same furniture was in the rooms, the same wall paper was on the walls, and even the same pictures were placed everywhere. Only, Camille was taking his place in Logan's arms, exchanging vows, being together...

He glanced over to the television awaiting for Camille, who instead of following him down hurried to the kitchen. The Fox Noon News was on with the headlining news of the plane accident that occurred just a few days ago. A specific image of everyone famous appeared on the screen, which was what Carlos hated about the News. They didn't like showing the common people who got hurt, the ones with families probably fearful and afraid of the fate of their father or aunt or best friend. Just the famous people who, probably were far much better off.

Sinking in to the chair a bit he felt his heart grow heavy when a huge picture of Logan appeared on the screen. It was a really old picture of him, one of him as a sixteen year old back in Big Time Rush. No one really knew them without the mention of Big Time Rush, they all went their separate ways trying to find less 'out in the open' jobs after the break up. But even though, they were famous in their own ways. Kendall in the small town he played and coached hockey for and James in Vegas where he was one of the best acts around. Only Carlos didn't really have much fame in his neighborhood, except for the fact he knew the rich doctor all the ladies swooned over as they begged for an introduction. He rolled his eyes and rested his left arm on a arm rest trying to watch the rest of the story.

"You know, that's been on everywhere this whole week." he heard her voice creep in to the room as he turned, the smell of fresh pastries lingered in the air making his mouth water and his tongue stick up from his mouth desiring the taste of each and every sugary treat. Even with the heart attack warnings Carlos adored eating sweets, always and forever. He fumbled with his fingers unsure what to say, he hated talking about sad stuff. The best Carlos could do is say sorry and give that person a hug or something. He knew that there was nothing he could of possibly done there, "Logan did miss you."

"Bullshit."

She gasped surprised at the language he had used, she never knew Carlos. The sweet, cheerful, energetic and probably most pure of them to curse. This was a surprise for her, "I mean it, he missed you so much. Why do you think all the furniture is still here?"

He pondered on the thought. Everything was in place, then again it probably just looked nice. The very last words Logan told him was that he'd never forgive and love him for how horrible he was for hurting him the way he did, "I was overjoyed when he asked me to marry him. I thought he really was over you and wanted to be with me."

"I thought so too."

Camille sighed heavily at both their words before taking a seat on the couch opposite to him burring her hands in her face. She started to sniff a tear coming down her ducts until more and more came falling down. This made Carlos even more guilty at the fact he couldn't help, whenever Logan or Stephanie would cry he would simply run off and or be the cause of it. He hated it when people cried, he hated it when he couldn't do anything to help them.

"Camille, I-I'm sorry." he stuttered out trying to bend over. He though simply got up with the help if the table and attempted to pat her back, but she swatted his hand away gently shaking her head. Letting out a breath Camille looked up at Carlos, her cheeks soaked with tears as she smudged them off with the back of her left hand. She tried to the curve the tips of her mouth into a small smile for him, but it didn't really end up very well.

"Don't be." Camille answered placing a hand to her chest looking blankly at the table in between them, "I wanted him to be happy, so I tried convincing him to call you back. He never did, you really hurt him you know."

"I do know."

"I'm just saying. By what I've seen you two seemed inseparable. What happened? Can you tell me?" she asked meekly a flash of curiosity shining on her face as he sat back into the seat eying her. Carlos didn't like going back to those times, those memories. They hurt too much, they were the things that made smiling one of the hardest things for him to do nowadays. Then again they were also some of the greatest moments of his life. But still he didn't like the mention of it, whenever someone would ask him he would deny ever marrying Logan and say he had been married to Stephanie for all his life. Why would he quit something he'd been doing for a very long time?

"I don't talk about it much."

"Please, for me. It'll be make me feel so much better if you did." she pleaded grabbing his knee shaking it wildly. A smile of pure joy and excitement quickly went through the fake one she made to show that she was alright. But Carlos didn't accept this, he tried to turn away but she was persistent shaking him even harder, "Please? I'm begging."

"It's a long story." he told her sternly trying to convince her otherwise, "It's years of information. And my memory isn't that good, I'm probably going to forget things."

"Those cookies are going to take almost fifty minutes to bake, I could wait." she laughed, she wasn't going to end this without a fight. Rolling his eyes Carlos thought back past all those forty years and back to the first time they had met. It was June, in Minnesota, that party. Oh right. He smile and laughed back with her beginning to tell his story.

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**AN- Flashbacks will start on the next chapter. I can't wait! Double yahootie :)**

**To Be Continued...**


	2. Chapter 1: June 19, 2007

**Title: Time Flies By**

**Author: The one the only *trumpet plays* Bigfan4242! Or Charlette.**

**Pairing(s): Logan/Carlos. Slight Camille/Logan and Carlos/Stephanie. Not really, but still.**

**Warning(s): Drinking, Smoking, and Sex. Not really shown, but mentioned.**

**Disclaimer: Not my original characters, Big Time Rush isn't mine.**

**Mood: Peaceful :)**

**Listening to: Wouldn't it Be Nice-The Beach Boys (Oddly I could imagine myself in twenty years singing this song to my many hundred cats.)**

**Author's Note: A bit inspired by my friend Aly's (ShatteredDiamonds) newest oneshot. It's amazing, she's amazing. Check it out. Hope you enjoy!**

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**June 19, 2007**

"Come on Carlos! Hurry up." his older brother Anthony yelled running past his younger brother quickly going up the hill not even daring to wait for him. Carlos attempted to keep up with his brother, but the barrel in his hands was almost twice his size and height. It was a bit hard for him.

This was the biggest party of the year, only seniors were allowed. Yet him, a mere freshman was going to be able to go just because his brother needed a little help carrying his kegs of beer and promised if he helped he'd let him stay. Carlos was practically jumping with excitement over the many thoughts going through his mind. This was going to be a night he would never forgot in his high school years.

Logan Mitchell on the other hand was trying to squirm away from the entire Senior football team who pushed him onto a wall staring at him with a fierceness in their eyes so frightening he was about to cry. He had no siblings with special connections, only the memory of a girl asking him out giving him directions that led him there. He tried to plead with them that he had been asked on that date, but they didn't believe him. So instead he begged that they didn't hurt him too bad and to let it happen fast.

Leaning on the wall of the house Carlos sucked in a breath gulping down the beer a group of his brother's friends offered him earlier. He was having a bit fun, and the people were nice to him despite a few mean glances he caught earlier. Some of them even talked to him for awhile, and when they did they didn't treat him like some lower class man. He liked that.

Honestly though, the party wasn't at all what he expected it to be. Carlos hated to admit it but, he was bored. Pretty much everyone there was either getting high or having sex in some random place. That wasn't his sort of scene, he was naïve and a bit reckless sure. But not to the point where it'd go to the point of taking drugs or hurting someone else. That was just too far.

He looked up at the sky only to jump because someone opened the door too far and too hard making it slam onto the wall startling him. He sighed and looked to who did it, a boy who looked way too young to be older than him with a few cuts and bruises on his face glanced at him before trudging away a bit panicked. Carlos continued to look at him noticing the way his eyes were a bit red and his cheeks were soaked, he had been crying. An endless supply of questions scattered through his brain as he decided to follow the boy curious of what happened. It wasn't like the guy would hurt him, he was much scrawnier and almost his height.

Carlos ran to try and catch up but the guy decided to run too a little bit of a lead against him. But he wasn't going to give up, if that was one thing teachers liked about Carlos was that even if he didn't get the best grades he never gave up. He continued to run even screaming for him to stop, but the guy didn't listen. Instead he just kept running too until they both ended up at the bottom of the hill, stopping to take a long breather.

"W-what do you want from me?" he panted turning around to Carlos his face red from all the running. He looked familiar. The dark brown faux hawk, very shining brown eyes, pale skin, and distinctive facial features. Carlos had seen that face before, he knew this kid, "Hello?"

"What happened?'

"What? Are you high or something?"

Carlos laughed at this as the guy rolled his eyes putting his hands on his knees beginning to still breathe heavily. He furrowed an eyebrow at Carlos confused at what a random guy was doing running after him trying play a game of one hundred questions shortly afterwards.

"What's your name?'

"Logan," he answered standing up straight but still keeping a distance from him. He seemed scared, like something was trying to kill him, "Logan Mitchell. Are you some sort of senior? Because I told your friends I was leaving, just please don't beat me up again."

The name buzzed in his head as he remembered where and how he knew this guy. Logan Mitchell, the same Logan Mitchell that was in his preschool, 2nd, 4th, and 5th grade class in elementary and Math and English classes in middle and high school. He was the one everyone praised for always answering their teacher's tough questions but also made fun of for being a teacher's pet. No wonder why he looked familiar, Logan had pretty much been in Carlos' life since he was four years old. They just didn't really know each other.

"You're a freshman aren't you?" he asked as Logan's eyes widened, his jaw dropping as well.

"Yeah, you're one too huh? How did you not get caught?"

"I have a brother here who's pretty cool with everyone." Carlos told him as he nodded his head realizing where he was going with this. Carlos glanced up and noticed a bit of blood dripping from Logan's forehead, mixing in with the sweat making him want to slightly upchuck. He grabbed Logan's hand and quickly walked back to his brother's car grabbing his keys from the back of his sweatshirt pocket. Thank goodness Anthony had left them to him.

He pushed Logan into the front and followed him inside, closing the door and locking it to make sure no drunken or high kids went up to them and started messing with them both. Carlos fumbled around and opened the small little cabinet on the front below the air bag to grab some cloth and a bottle of water. He poured some on the cloth and quickly wiped his forehead, but Logan quickly stopped him and grabbed the cloth to dab it instead.

"So. What happened?"

He leaned on the seat and awaited an answer from Logan who still was dabbing his wound, even closing his eyes and clenching his teeth a face of pain on him. Carlos shook him slightly to make sure he wasn't falling asleep though, this night just got a bit interesting. He didn't want to end up bored out of his mind with another beer in his hand to gulp down.

"Let's just say a girl decided to be the one lying to me. She invited me as a date, denied ever even speaking to me. Angry jocks came and beat me to pieces." he groaned shortly afterwards as Carlos grabbed the bottle placing it on any of the visible bruises around his face. He would of went upstairs to get maybe some ice or something colder than a simple water bottle but he didn't want to leave him alone. Something about Logan seemed... vulnerable. Like if he was alone for even two seconds in a locked space he'd still get hurt somehow.

"I'm sorry."

"... It's okay." he replied before turning around facing away from Carlos as he let a few tears flow, "I'm so embarrassed. I feel degraded. Goodness, I'm an idiot."

Carlos laughed at this, the day Logan Mitchell was an idiot was a shocking day for the entire world. Logan had the best grades in the entire school, he was probably one of the smartest guys in the entire town. He wasn't an idiot, he'd never be an idiot. He patted his back and tried to make the crying cease. They kept going though, even louder and louder as the time came. He assumed they'd be in there for hours, the fact after awhile people started going back into their cars or started to walk home while Logan was still crying but Anthony still wasn't anywhere to be seen. Carlos was getting worried, as much as his brother was a smart guy anything could of happened that night.

Soon enough they both fell asleep in the car, and Carlos finally found Anthony. He was asleep too, in the back. Wearing only his boxers and some pieces of food on his body, he didn't even want to know what happened. He sighed and awaited for them both wake up, getting out of the car to stretch.

"Carlos? Is that right? Heey." he heard somone mumble as he turned to Logan, his eyes open into small slits as he gurgled a bit. Carlos smiled and bid him a good morning quickly getting back into the car closing the door loud enough to get Anthony up for a bit, but he quickly went back to sleep shortly afterwards. They both laughed at him as Carlos looked up to see how Logan was doing. The cuts on his face were slightly healed, probably because of his dabbing. And made him look kinda cool actually. Not like the typical book nerd he pressumed he was, "I really owe you one, you know."

Carlos stopped him and shook his head, "No, it's all right."

"I'm serious, I do. You're really cool, I thought you looked familiar. Then I remembered preschool mand stuff, we've never spoken until now. Weird huh?" Carlos nodded unsure what to say, "We should hang out sometime. I don't really have many friends besides my friend Kendall and stuff. Yeah."

Carlos smiled and tried to remeber what Kendall looked like, he knew that his mom was one of the only single mothers in his neighborhood and that he was on the hockey team with him. He also remembered him having blonde hair and green eyes.

Logan put out a hand and told him that after that night they'd have to hang out sooner or later and that it'd be awesome if they got to be friends. Carlos laughed and grabbed his hand shaking it, agreeing with him.

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**And the friendship begins :)**

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	3. Chapter 2: May 12, 2008

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Title: Time Flies By

**Author: The one the only *trumpet plays* Bigfan4242! Or Charlette.**

**Pairing(s): Logan/Carlos, because they're meant to be married and having cute little Cargan babies.**

**Warning(s): Indications of sexual abuse, drinking, and physical abuse. Slight cursing.**

**Disclaimer: Not my original characters, Big Time Rush isn't mine. **

**Mood: Blehistic ;P**

**Listening to: Hey Soul Sister-Glee Cast (Oh gosh, Darren Criss is a firetrucking hottie.)**

**Author's Note: ****Well, I actually had this chapter sitting around in my files for awhile now, actually I found like many documents filled with chapters and stories in my files. Yeah, I'm not in any way tidy or organized, haha.**

**Anyways, I have like a million reasons why I haven't posted those files such such as the fact I started them but didn't finish and because I swear if you read some of them you'd think a four year wrote it. Ha, but I'll try to fix em' up and post them soon *crosses heart*.**

**Enjoy (or hate, either way works)! Thanks for reading :)**

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**May 13, 2008**

Logan sighed in an exhausted but also very gleeful manner as he walked home from school. It was going to be a pretty easy week for him, it was just state testing. He had already learned all this stuff, it was all pretty much review. There wasn't anything hard about that.

Stuffing his hands into his pockets he stepped on top of the concrete, looking down watching his feet walk every step. Quite frankly Logan didn't want to leave school, yeah he was good at it but, he also felt safer there. There were bullies, and sure there other things dangerous that could be happen that wouldn't happen at home but he'd rather stay at school. His home felt like a death trap, in school there were safety zones. At home, it was all hell.

Carlos on the other hand trudged his way home, angry, frustrated, and utterly stressed to the point his head was probably going to explode. This week was going to be probably one of hardest in the school year. As usual. State testing was his good spot, school in general was not at all his good spot. He didn't want to pay attention, he 'couldn't' pay attention. Every time he tried his mind would drift off to the most random of things. He couldn't do anything.

He groaned, and kicked the rock in front of his shoes hard enough that it flew all the way to the middle of the street. He looked up and saw Logan walking his way, the dork. Probably got such a good score the machine grading the test would burn to flames- that wouldn't be so bad actually.

Ever since the incident, the two of them had actually did as they promised and hung out. Carlos saw Logan differently and Logan saw Carlos differently. Turns out despite their many differences they just, attracted. Not like, attracted like they fell in love. But like they needed each other, as friends. They had gotten so close in such a short time, it was cool.

"Logan! Hey wait up!" he yelled, throwing his arms in the air running towards him. Laughing he tackled him into a hug, almost barely throwing him to the ground. One thing to know about Carlos Garcia was that he was touchy and usually hugged people. Logan laughed, looked at their window. A chill going down his spine after so, "Hey, how was your testing?"

Logan shrugged and scooted Carlos' arm away from him as he tried to dart his eyes away. Their glare burning holes through his body, why were they doing this? "Really good."

"No duh, you probably got a one hundred on everything."

"Nah, I'm not that smart. Where are you headed?"

"Down the street. You?"

Logan turned and pointed to the house to the left of them, the glaring pair of eyes staring at him earlier still looking. Carlos walked closer to him and stared at his house, Logan praying he wouldn't notice that someone was watching them, "Nice house."

He smiled, shrugged and walked a bit on the lawn. He felt sweat trickle down the tips of his hair as he felt himself distancing from Carlos. Who thank god, wasn't picking up on how nervous he was. Logan waved a little at him and mumbled a good bye, telling him he'd call later.

Carlos nodded, and tried to leave as soon as possible seeing how nervous Logan got. He didn't know why though. Was there something wrong? But instead of asking he just left, without a word. Logan sighed in relief as he left quickly running into his house hoping to be left alone.

"Hey. You're home." a voice shouted from the living room window, he turned and threw his bag on the ground. He wanted to run so badly, but if he did within moments his mother would come up to his room and punish him for what he did. There wasn't a point in running, he was trapped, "Who's the boy?"

Logan bit his lip, and slowly cowered behind the couch behind him. From underneath the shadows she appeared, the demon of his life that never seemed to get tired of tormenting him. She grinned ear to ear, oddly no musk of wine or beer to her. She probably was feeling lonely today, "My friend."

"He better be you faggot. You two don't go sucking each others dicks or anything do you?"

He swallowed hard, biting his lip shaking his head as his mother chuckled making kissing noises at him. She stomped her way to him until they were only a few feet away, her eyes covered with the image of horrid future and pain of a husband having have divorced her. Wasn't his fault she was crazy.

"Of course you two don't. You can't even score a girl none the less a guy, you're such shit." her words will filled with laughter, but not the happy kind of laughter but the one filled with pain and anguish, "You're exactly like your father, all shit." she went up to him bent down and grabbed his chin, pulling him to her, "Cute though, I hate to admit."

Then the usual came into gear, Logan was use to that kind of stuff. Obviously, his mother was always doing this. She grabbed his hands and made him touch her, explaining how it made her feel beautiful and actually loved. It didn't do that to him though, it sickened him. Not only that made him curious if his mother would ever stop feeling unloved. He had loved her before, she was his mother. Was his love not enough?

After what happened he opened his eyes in just slits. Logan sighed, looked in front of him and attempted to move out of his mother's grasp. She laid their, dead asleep naked with only a small towel covering her. Thank goodness he was still fully dressed, it was a sign she didn't go overboard this night.

He looked around and opened the cupboards grabbing a bag of chips and can of soda taking a seat in front of the dinner table. Despite being an alcoholic and sex addict his mother always had enough food and paid the bills on time. Being a surgeon helped tons with everything.

Walking back into the living room he looked down at his mother and grabbed the phone on the side table next to the couch. He looked down to the blinking number four pressing the play button.

_Sunday, eight thirty two P.M.…_

"Hello Ms. Mitchell, we were wondering if you would like to purchase something that could-"

Logan groaned, jammed the delete button and awaited the next message. He saw the body stir a bit as he pressed pause, awaiting until she turned to play the next message.

_Monday, nine forty five A.M. …_

"Uh, hi Ashley." it was dad's voice, oh god, "I was wondering if I could talk to you about bringing Logan back with me to my house. It's been over months and I really miss him, he's not only your son anyways." Logan scoffed, his dad hadn't even called until then. Now he wanted to be a good parent, "Call me back soon Ash, please. I've been trying to call for months." Bullshit, "I miss my son."

Logan shook his head groaned once more pressing the delete button even harder, he didn't want to see his dad. As bad as it was his mother was his dad's house was no heaven on earth.

_Monday, nine fifty eight A.M…_

"Uh. It's me again, but this is for Logan." his voice was trembling as if he was crying. Logan bit his lip grabbed the closet pillow and clutched it around his arms "Son, I'm really sorry for what happened between us. I didn't mean to send you, didn't mean to send you flying down the stairs, or when I broke your arm… everything. I'm really sorry I did that to you. Please, when you come back I promise I won't do anything-"

There was more but Logan shook his head not wanting to hear any more. When he'll come back? What was going on in dad's head? That was never going to happen.

Sucking in a breath Logan slammed the delete button once again, this time so hard it toppled over. He looked up and saw his mother's eyes grow open in almost a nanosecond after the crash. He bit his lip and got up, grabbing the cordless phone running to his room to dial for Carlos, hoping no one would find him.

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**Next chapter will be during the same timeas this one, only in Carlos' home life. Just a hint, I'm crying right now as I think it through. LOL.**

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	4. Chapter 2 II: May 12, 2008

**Title: Time Flies By**

**Author: The one the only *trumpet plays* Bigfan4242! Or Charlette.**

**Pairing(s): Logan/Carlos, because Sean and I are going to trap them together so they'll finally realize their feelings for one another. **

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Warning(s): Trigger moments, Suicide, death, slash, angst, very slight language

Disclaimer: Not my original characters, Big Time Rush isn't mine.

Mood: Tired/Sick.

Listening to: Young Tunks-Rod Stewart (This dude is so flippin' epic. Anyone going to his concert I am so jealous XD)

Author's Note: So, yeah hola. I really don't have anything to say, mmm you should check out this story I'm co-writing for 'In Our Wildest Dreams' on Bone Chills aka Sean's profile. It flippin' rocks. Haha yeah, hope you enjoy this chapter!

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Camille placed the plate of sugary treats in the middle of Carlos and herself, sitting quickly back to her seat adjusting her dress as she picked up a cookie with her pointer finger and thumb. Carlos looked at the plate, licked his lips and grabbed a number of the the treats placing the cookies onto his lap. He noticed Camille giggle as soon as he did so, making him smile a bit brighter after telling her of Logan's horrible childhood. He didn't even know about it the beginning they started dating. Logan wasn't very open with his life, and as much as he respected it he also hated it.

He plopped a piece of cookie into his mouth savoring the it with his taste buds, moaning in delight shortly afterwards. Camille continued to giggle putting a hand to her mouth while so, "You haven't changed a bit." she sighed before laying her hands by her sides staring him down. Carlos furrowed an eyebrow, mouth filled and continued to eat, "So is that all true? His mother raped him and his dad abused him?"

Carlos nodded, cookie crumbs falling onto the carpet and furniture, "Uh huh." he told her as she grabbed a nearby napkin wiping away all the crumbs. He noticed the way Camille was so interested in his story, obviously she had no clue about any of it actually happening. That made him a bit happy that Logan was willing to trust him with that, "His whole family was bad. Once they heard about me, oh god. They were jerks."

Camille's eyes lingered around the floor as she paused, "But, that's another story huh?"

He took another bite, spilling another pile of the crumbs nodding his head, "Uh huh." he answered. Carlos leaned onto the couch and sank into it slowly swaying back and forth his legs, "Do you have anything to drink? Thanks again."

Camille smiled and nodded, before resting her head onto her hands, her elbows on her legs scanning him. She moved the napkin to Carlos' face and wiped the crumbs off his mouth, "Ha, you're like a little boy." She whispered as Carlos pondered if he was suppose to be taking it as a compliment or unintended remark, "So, how about you?" she pursed her lips together, as Carlos looked a her a bit confused, "Was your childhood just as bad?"

Carlos scoffed nodded and rested his head onto the chair's back, "Oh yeah. I mean Logan's life stunk but mine wasn't so easy either." He sucked in a breath and darted his eyes away at the glaring picture of Camille and Logan during their honeymoon. Obviously Camille wanted to hear him talk about this, and plus it was part of the story, "If I choke up, please forgive me."

"Okay."

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**May 12, 2008 **

The sirens beeps and flashing bright red and blue lights surrounded the neighborhood as a group of people consisting of paramedics, concerned/noisy neighbors, and policemen he'd known because of his father hovered around the Garcia family. Carlos' eyes puffed red from crying as he wiped the tears away from his face with the blanket his father gave him to keep warm. His brother Anthony and little sister Caroline stood next to him as his father bawled loudly, just as he'd been doing hours prior.

_She's dead… We can't help her... The fucking hell… No you're not going to jail… The newspapers will talk about this… Are you cold… Oh shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. _

Those were the only things going on through everyone; those were the only words Carlos was hearing. And as much as he wanted to block them out, he couldn't. He wrapped his blanket onto Caroline and stood closer to her, letting them each warm each other. Quite frankly he wasn't so sure how this had happened either. All he recalled was the noise of crying and yelling from downstairs, next thing they knew his mom was laying on the floor with a bullet to her chest.

But then again, he didn't know the full story. Logan was calling him from his house when all of it had happened. He paid all his attention to the voice of his newly found friend, not on the commotion occurring downstairs. He didn't know if that was either a good or bad thing.

"Carlos! Over here!"

The voice broke through the entire crowd oddly; he could distinguish it despite all the other noises coming around. Carlos looked around and saw Logan standing on the sidewalk, a smile on his face, a long winter jacket wrapped around him, a beanie on his head, and gloves on his hands. He looked over to Caroline, his father, and Anthony before walking past everyone to him. Logan continued to call his name getting the attention of people around them. But despite so, he kept screaming.

Carlos finally was able to reach up to him, pulling him into a tight hug quickly burying his face into his turtleneck. Logan's breathing hit his neck as he pulled himself closer, slowly sobbing within seconds of their contact, "She's gone." He whispered as Logan nodded rubbing his back, "How did you find out?"

Logan sighed, his breath smelled like potato chips and Coca Cola. But his body smelled like cologne and safety, it smelled like something that made him feel much more safe than in any one elses' arms, "I heard all the news. It's spreading around like a wildfire."

"I don't know what happened."

"It's okay."

"My dad's scared. How are we going to pay for everything?"

He sighed again and continued rubbing Carlos' back holding him closer, "I know." he repeated as Carlos felt him close his eyes and sigh heavily once more, continuing to do so multiple times, "I know it's hard. I know."

Carlos' body soon let its tension lessen; he felt in Logan's arms like nothing could hurt him then. Carlos slowly moved his head down, placing his face onto Logan's chest wiping his tears with the sweater's front. Logan simply allowed him, holding him like his dear life depended on it. Until all the pain and sorrow Carlos was feeling would go away.

* * *

Camille gasped, looked at him and put a glass of lemonade next to the plate sitting back down quickly putting a hand to his knee giving it a friendly squeeze. Carlos looked down at the floor, the memories of that night still painful even to this very day. This is why he hated talking about the past, but he had promised Camille a story.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered as he shook his head putting a hand out to indicate her to not feel pity for him. That was not something he enjoyed when someone heard about his mother's suicide. He didn't like the pity, "Thank goodness Logan was there."

Carlos smiled, that was the best part of that memory, "Yeah, I know." He breathed rubbing the back of his neck in a bit of a nervous way chuckling at himself, "You know, looking back at it now, that's when I started to fall for him." He began, "And just now I saw that."

* * *

**Next chapter starts up closer to Big Time Audition. Hope you enjoyed this chappie! **

**TO BE CONTINUED…**


	5. Chapter 3: December 23, 2008

**Title: **Time Flies By

**Author:** The one the only *trumpet plays* Bigfan4242! Or Charlette.

**Pairing(s): **Logan/Carlos, because they're epic.

**Warning(s):** Some vivid (I guess I mean I'm writing it) views of physical abuse and mental illness. Language. Trigger Moments.

**Disclaimer:** Not my original characters, Big Time Rush isn't mine.

**Mood:** Salty :/

**Listening to:** Blame Canada-South Park the Movie. (My newest obsession just so you know. If any of you like the show expect something soon ;D)

**Author's Note:** So, yeah hola. I really don't have anything to say. I've been in and out this fandom but I'm glad to be back in. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

* * *

**December 23, 2009**

Well, he was right. His dad wasn't going to change his ways, not one bit.

Logan sighed and cowered in the corner of the living room throwing his arms in the air, despite it being useless in fending off his father. This wasn't a surprise, no matter how many times he apologized Logan knew that his father would return to his old ways and beat the stuffing out of him. The only thing Logan wished for was that his mother would stop forcing him to keep coming back to his father's house. It seemed to Logan as if both his parents just wanted him to suffer wherever he went.

"Don't you dare disrespect me in front of my peers!" he screamed slamming his hand on Logan's face soon throwing his fist at his gut. Logan cried out in pain and felt his eyes sting with tears as everything hurt oh so much right then. But he tried to keep calm, if he showed any sign of his pain his father would make him suffer even more, "You're worthless boy, you're nothing but shit. I'm tired of you and Ashley."

Logan looked at him soon seeing the monster that constantly infested his father. His eyes were filled with the fires of hell as was his face, twisted to the point it made Logan weak just looking at him. He lunged again at his upper torso before grabbing Logan's hair pulling him back and forth on the back of the wall.

Oh god it hurt. He didn't know what was more painful, the fact he was getting hit or the words his father was saying.

After a few minutes of screams and beatings Logan looked up to see his father having had stopped hitting him and now just standing, thinking it seemed to be. While his father towered over him Logan stroked his face and saw there was blood somewhere. Hopefully his father kept his first aid kit, it was a miracle he was good at all the medical stuff. Then again, he had to learn it at the fact his parents wouldn't waste their time making sure their son was okay.

"Logan," he breathed out as Logan looked him trying so hard not to roll his eyes. His dad changed from the monster to an actual caring and compassionate person, like always. What he was going to say next wasn't a surprise either, "I'm so, so sorry. Please forgive me son, I won't do it again I promise. Oh my god, do you need my first aid kit? I'll go get it if you want-"

Logan shook his head and used all of the strength he had left over to get up and walk upstairs to the bathroom. He felt him foor ache as he did so and he was almost limping the entire way. This was the worst his father had beat him in months. He almost forgot how bad his father actually could hurt someone.

"Wait son," his voice rang as Logan turned looking at him. His father smiled at Logan and went up to him slowly wrapping him in his arms. Logan felt himself ache with his father's touch, it was acid, "I love you son, I really do." he rubbed the back of Logan's head and kissed his forehead, "I hope you forgive me."

Logan looked up at his father and shrugged, actually feeling pity for his father, just like he did for his mother. A mental illness was the cause of his father's actions, he couldn't control them. He hugged his father back and tried to work up a smile, "I forgive you dad, I love you too."

Deep down inside he knew he didn't mean those words.

* * *

Carlos looked over at the dirty yet empty room that once was filled with people due to the lunch rush that occurred every afternoon. He wiped his forehead with the back of his hand and leaned on top of the counter. The manager and one of the cooks were fighting again, and the fact they were married didn't make things any better. He remembered his mother hearing them. He missed her.

Ever since the day his mother died things in the Garcia home had been horrible. His dad's job wasn't enough to take care of him and his siblings and his dad sucked at handling money. He gave too much when he had so little, Carlos would find himself starving and without clothes constantly. People who once were his friends soon were making fun of him now at the fact he was as they said 'a poor boy'.

But he still had Logan. And quite frankly that was all he needed.

"Hey, Carlos?" he heard someone say as he looked up furrowing an eyebrow. Logan appeared and smiled at him.

He looked horrific.

Bruises ran around his skin and there were bandages all over his face. There was a bit of a limp to his walk as he went over to Carlos and stood in front of him. Logan looked like he was in a lot of pain and Carlos was curious of what happened this time. He moved his hand to touch one of the cuts on his cheek but Logan flinched away before he could feel his skin.

"What happened?" he mouthed as Logan smiled shaking his head to indicate he don't worry. Logan was always like that, always trying to be the hero of his life when in reality he couldn't handle everything. Carlos found it stupid but just accepted it being 'The Logan Mitchell Way', "Okay, how was your dad's?"

"Uh, it was okay." he answered as Carlos furrowed an eyebrow again seeing Logan's voice trail off as if he was hiding something. He had been hearing Logan dread for this day for the past months and he wanted to know if it was as bad as a time as he assumed. Logan's entire family was super rich, Carlos couldn't see what was bad about that, "I mean, it was… yeah okay."

Carlos nodded, despite not believing anything of what Logan said. Was he hiding something totally awesome or something scary?, "What'd you do?"

Logan pursed his lips together, "Hang out," he answered with a shrug as Carlos nodded again, "I mean we had dinner and stuff and like we hung out. My dad isn't the kind of guy to do father son things."

That's it? Carlos wanted more but decided to ignore it seeing that Logan wasn't going to cough up, "He isn't much of the fatherly type huh?'

"No, actually he's the complete opposite."

"Really? How so?"

Logan groaned and shook his head acting irritated at Carlos' questions. But deep inside Carlos saw his eyes grow watery, as if he was going to cry. He noticed him wipe the back of his eyes with his hand and take a deep breath, "He just isn't okay? I'm going to go, my mom is expecting me." he glared over to Carlos and shook his hand, "I'll see you around."

Carlos grabbed Logan's arm "Wait, are you leaving because of my questions? I mean I'm just wondering because you look horrible man and you just came back from your dad's and-" Carlos looked back at Logan who was fuming irritated. He pinched his nose and gritted his teeth as Carlos decided to ask, "What happened to you?"

"Nothing."

"Did you're dad have-"

"No he didn't," Logan retorted fiercely looking at Carlos, "I fell down the stairs at his house. You think my dad hit me? He didn't okay? He's not abusive."

Carlos nodded again, "Okay. But I'm just saying, if you got hurt or anything I could help you out and all and I don't want you getting hurt and-"

Logan put a hand to Carlos' mouth and laughed. Though the laugh was utterly awkward and fake, "Don't worry man, I'm fine. I promise."

Carlos just accepted that but he obviously knew that Logan was lying. He could tell he didn't mean a word he was saying, that everything he was saying was a lie. Carlos looked at Logan again and began to think if maybe his parents were abusive.

That would explain everything.

* * *

**Dun... Dun... DUN. Hope you enjoyed the chapter :)**

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	6. Chapter 4: November 28 and 30, 2009

**AN-**I love this fic? Ahaha, I mean I know it's utter shizz but I swear this is probably my favorite to write.

I'm excited. I'm excited for things like Logan and Carlos' first kiss, first date, wedding, the drama after the wedding (Oh trust, there's going to be drama mwhaha), maybe even a little funeral at the end. I'm pretty excited and I can't wait to get to these parts.

Oh and the first part is during 'Big Time Audition' (Aha, the start of it all). And so the next couple of chapters are going to continue up to their lives in Big Time Rush. We're making some progress huh? Whoot whoot.

Also you reviewers rock. Just saying. Hope you guys like this chapter(:

**Warning(s):** Er. Charlette attempting fluff? Ahaha.

* * *

**November 28, 2009**

"See you guys. This is what happens when you meddle in with my dreams." James began continuing another line of complaints as they sat in the back of the police car. Kendall was rolling his eyes and telling James yet again to shut his mouth while Logan stood in the corner shaking horribly, his face was covered with fear as his teeth made a grinding sound, "I'm probably going to never be famous with you guys getting us in with the police all the time!"

Kendall groaned and leaned his head against the window. He would be the one to stay calm while James complained endlessly over something so insignificant to the situation. Meanwhile Logan would be the one sitting there quietly grinding his teeth away to dust. Carlos on the other hannd, what did he do? He didn't really do anything like the other guys after something excited happened. Maybe talk a little or something but Kendall mostly did all the talking. He was the leader anyways.

But he was the one to help out Logan stop himself from going insane. He just couldn't stand seeing his friend like that. Like a lost puppy who was screaming for someone to rescue them. Plus Kendall was always too preoccupied dealing with James. He was the only one left.

"And the freaking turd song dude? Really?" James yelled as Kendall turned around his eyes the size of discs as the two of them yelled at each other sparking the flame that'll begin their fight. Carlos sighed and looked over to Logan pursing his lips together attempting to say something.

"Hey, are you okay?" he began as Logan looked at Carlos and furrowed an eyebrow.

"What?" Logan asked seeing him staring at him. He looked over to Kendall and James before to the two policemen in the front. One of them was watching the fight just in case anything got out of hand. This was a stupid idea. He was for sure going to get in trouble once he got home. Ms. Knight was probably going to call their parents and tell them about their crazy night and how the cops got involved. He was going to visit his dad in just a week. Imagine if he found out about this? Logan could already feel his hand smacking him across the face.

"Logan?"

But this wasn't the time to think about that. Plus maybe he could hide this from the both of them. He looked down to Carlos and smiled meekly, "Yeah I'm fine buddy." he told him, "Just my parents are going to kill me if they find out."

"Oh, well I wish you luck."

Logan smiled. Carlos wasn't a therapist but the fact that he was always there for him was enough to make him feel better. He attempted to pat his back despite his hands being handcuffed behind him, "Thanks, you too."

"Nah, my dad will totally be okay with this." he laughed before looking up figuring a plan, "He may be a police man now but he's had a few run in with the police himself."

"You're dad's a policeman?" one of the men asked as he looked up nodding his head. Carlos grinned at them hoping that maybe this may get them out of the little accident. He looked over to Kendall and James who had stopped fighting then to Logan whose teeth had not stayed still. God it was starting to get a bit irritating, "What's his name?"

"Officer Garcia."

"Ah, the poor guy. He can barely afford a new uniform." the man laughed as Carlos gritted his teeth. He hated it when people made fun of his family none the less his financial state. Was it his fault they were in a recession? Or the fact his dad was the only one supporting three kids? They didn't have to suffer like that. What right did they have to laugh at him?

"Why are you laughing?" he hissed as they turned to him, sort of shocked, "It's not like you guys are better policemen."

After that Carlos and the two cops instantly started screaming at each other. Obviously they won, because of the fact they were older and more capable of getting them to shut up. In short they won 'cause they were bigger. Everything they learned about the underdog capable to win was total B.S.

"Hey I'm sorry I blew up there." Carlos began as the men escorted them up to Kendall's front door. James and him rolled their eyes and groaned in almost perfect unison mumbling some curse words under their breaths. He knew he had messed up, big time. They were probably never going to talk to him in a long time.

"No need to apologize Carlos," he heard someone say as he looked to his side. Logan looked at him and smiled before darting his eyes to the cop behind Carlos, his eyes filled with daggers. He lowered his head and went closer to him, "They were being total jerks anyways."

He laughed, "Ha, thanks Logan."

"Yeah, and you too. For what happened back in the police car. Thanks."

"No problemo."

* * *

**November 30, 2009**

Logan hated airplane rides.

Every time he visited his father he had to fly to Oklahoma which was the only reason why he'd fly an airplane. Airplane rides were like death; they meant another visit to hell. Every time he'd sit down in one of those seats he could feel himself want to vomit or shake uncontrollably. It was a horrible habit like biting your nails or mumbling your words but like those things it was something he could not stop doing.

And right now. He was shaking again and a pain was in his stomach stirring everything inside like a casserole.

Suddenly he felt a hand go to his. He looked up and saw Carlos' give him half-sided smile his hand laid on top of his. Carlos was a pretty affectionate guy, he knew that. But he was never this affectionate. Despite so Logan liked the feel of his hand near his, heck he even felt himself stop shaking. He opened his mouth to say something but Carlos shook his head.

"No, I'm going to kiss you dude." Carlos laughed as Logan chuckled a bit nodding his head, "I mean, your shaking is getting a bit annoying."

Logan nodded and turned around to see if anyone was looking at them. James and Kendall were asleep with their heads leaned against the other as Ms. Knight and Katie were reading magazines. They were the only people in the plane assuming it was Gustavo's private jet. He was still a little shocked Kendall actually wanted all four of them to go LA and become famous. This was a pretty amazing event. (Well it better be awesome. He had to beg his parents to let him come along. Which for obvious reasons was not easy.)

"Oh, s-sorry." Logan began staring to the ground as Carlos shook his head again, "T-this happens a lot. I'll try t-to stop."

"No it's okay just, I used to be scared of airplanes too. When I was little." he licked his lips, "But like, my mom used to hold my hand and tell me to look out the window and make shapes with the clouds. It made me feel better."

"So you want me to look out the window and tell you that cloud over there looks like a bunny?"

"No... 'cause you have no imagination what so ever so I'll know you're lying."

"Shut up."

"I'm just saying Mr. Logic, it's a bit more fun thinking out the box." his smile grew as both tips went up. Logan looked over to Carlos and jiggled his hand a bit, "But there, you feel better now huh? Thank god too I wanted to scribble a mustache onto James' face and dip Kendall's hand in water but you were probably going to wake them up. Want to join?"

Logan laughed. Classic Carlos still doing some sort of wacky prank. It was something he'd never forgot about him, "Okay." he replied before moving his hand up to put his on top this time. He stroked Carlos' hand with his thumb, "And thanks. You're always here for me buddy, I really appreciate it."

* * *

"You, you guys were really close huh?" Camille began as Carlos licked off an remains of her treats off his fingers. He grabbed the pink lemonade onto the table and gulped it down, along with the tears about to come from his eyes. It was corny how much he was going to cry for telling his 'life story' but quite frankly this was more than that. It was him venting out all his feelings for the past years, "I mean, even closer than he was with me."

Carlos nodded, "Yeah," he began before realizing how mean that sounded, "I mean, he was in love with you too. When you guys were dating. It was like Cupid struck him right on target."

"Yeah," she sighed, "there's actually more to that story." she began as Carlos furrowed an eyebrow a bit confused but also intrigued by what she was thinking, "But I want you to finish yours first."

Carlos grinned, "Okay then. But there's still a lot more."

* * *

**Ahaha enjoy the shizzy fluff? (I'm obviously not a fluff writer lol)**

**To Be Continued...**


	7. Chapter 7: December 1, 2009

_**an- **_so this is totally dedicated to kritterpher. have i already dedicated a chapter to you hon? well who flippin' cares because you're amazing and i love you and i'm going to hug you a hundred times because seanny told me you hate it when people hug you but i love you haha.

oh and if the show has shown the boys' room and that like the sleeping orders are different i'm sorry. i haven't seen an episode in the longest time (you may punch me) and i am crap when it comes to keeping up with shows lol.

oh and this is very filler-istic. i just wanted to make a chapter of this because i felt bad i haven't been updating and i really do love this story and like yeah. it also sums up my entire reason why i love california so effing much.

thanks for reading errrryone!

**song(s):** shine-black gold

* * *

When Carlos first came to Hollywood he would never known how amazing it would be.

Things were just, just wow. The fantastic temperature and giant houses were awesome and everything seemed so much faster and lively in California. Every where Carlos turned he could see his people's faces light up with dreams and ambition. The same way Carlos was, in which people would often scold him about. These people along with him were the ones who had their heads in the clouds dreaming about places far away were everything was fantastic and nothing could hurt them.

Logan on the other hand was just happy to be away. His father agreed to letting him go to Hollywood just as long as he kept up with his grades. His mom on the otherhand was upset. She didn't want to lose her baby to surgically enhanched bimbo girls in too tight clothes and way too much make up and boys with steriods and giant six packs. (aka, she didn't want to lose her only access to some love) But Logan only needed his dad's consent and he'd be fine to go.

He was finally away from his parents. Logan couldn't believe it; he felt free. Utterly and totally free from the people who tormented his life and made it a living hell. He had thrown a hundred little parties in his head about this. Logan was so happy.

"Logan, Carlos. You guys are going to be bunking with each other." Mrs. Knight grinned as she pointed to their room. Logan looked over to Carlos and followed him with his bags to their room. The apartment wasn't snazzy, on the contray it was the complete opposite of snazzy. It was a dump. There were stains everywhere and it smelled like someone vomitted into a litter box and let an old cat lady bring in all her creatures for one last potty break. Logan grimaced at the entire place but kept his head held up high. All famous people started out somewhere, maybe even this said crappy apartment.

Logan opened up his bag and started to take off his clothes piling them one by one in order. Carlos on the other hand dumped everything onto his bed and stuffed them into the cabinet next to them before turning around smiling at Logan.

"Done."

Logan rolled his eyes and started to place everything inside. Shirts on top and pants and shorts on the bottom. Shoes underneath the cabinet. Carlos began to pace around the room before jumping on Logan's bed making all his clothes fall.

"Carlos!"

"Sorry! It was an accident." Carlos answered back as Logan pursed his lips together picking everything up. Everything was seemingly an accident to Carlos. When he accidentally crushed Logan's Biology project that was an accident. When he hit him in his err, crotch area that one time at the park it was an accident. And the second time he hit them there during a hockey competition was also an accident. But each time Logan nod his head and mumbled an 'I forgive you' or something. He started to fold his shirts against as Carlos stared at him with big eyes "Logan why don't we go outside? There's a pool outside and I saw some really hot girls."

Logan shrugged, "I want to pack first. Get all the boring stuff first before going out to have fun."

Carlos and Logan's relationship was interesting. Logan always having to be his own parent was always the voice of reason to doing this and that. He made sure Carlos kept up with his grades and always ate his vegetables just as long as his baby was safe. Carlos on the other hand who had lost one of his parents was always childish having found it hard to grow up. He was scared of donning his comfy shirts and skinny jeans to ugly suits. The very thought of having to take off his helmet of an job terrified Carlos and he never wanted to grow old.

In a way Carlos was Peter Pan and Logan was his Wendy. Only they didn't fall in love, Logan didn't have a vagina, Carlos hated tights, and some day he was going to have to grow up eventually. They both did along with Kendall and James. But hopefully not soon enough.

Carlos scoffed at him as Logan was the only boring thing there. Carlos got up and grabbed a pile of Logan's stuff before throwing it all into cabinets slamming them shut when they wouldn't fit and letting his shirts and underwear ooze out from the crevices. Logan sighed and rubbed his temples before pushing Carlos.

"That's not cool."

"You're not cool."

"I'm being serious!"

"And so am I!" Carlos got up and picked up a spare piece of underwear that had fallen on the ground. He looked at it, sniffed it, and then gave it back to Logan who cringed and held it -his OWN underwear- with his fingers tips far away from his face and folded it neatly to place it back into the top cabinet, "Come on Logan, we're in Hollywood. Wasn't there anything you've ever wanted to do here?"

Logan thought about it. There wasn't anything exactly, it was just a place. Hollywood and California and such. Like Minnesota, it was just another place in the world, nothing special. Everyone was so hyped to go to California and do this thing and that thing. Sure some of those things weren't possible in Minnesota, like swimming outside 25/8 and seeing hot girls in skimpy outfits but nonetheless Logan didn't find anything worth being that excited for.

"What's so special about California anyways?" Logan mumbled as Carlos dramatically gasped throwing his arms in the air before falling back down on the bed, "It's a nice place but nothing to be so excited for."

Carlos looked at him and groaned, "You are boring." he answered as Logan pushed him again, "Don't you see it Logan? It's the place of dreams."

"I don't think I see what you mean."

Carlos sighed, "I mean don't you see all these people? Their faces are filled with the same thing Logan, they're dreamers. They're in the place were anything is possible and were people can make new names for themselves. This is a second chance place for people Logan, but for us we get to make a name."

Logan looked at Carlos. He was so passionate about the place. He could see his eyes being filled with passion riding around like shooting stars jumping back and forth from each corner, "Wow Mr. Deep, way to be encouraging."

Carlos chuckled and before letting out a burp. Logan rolled his eyes again, "My intellegence can only last for so long Logan." he placed a hand to his shoulder and squeezed it gently, "Now let's go, we're going to have some fun. I've only cannonballed once in my life and I've probably gotten rusty."

Camille was smiling after he had told her this. She was holding onto Carlos' knee the entire time but was now leaned against her couch with her eyes closed and hands crossed on her lap. Carlos was smiling too. Hollywood was a place of dreams, and either you got them shattered or you kept them going. He remembered being so anxious as a boy, after being fed fairy tales and pixie dust (and pixie stix) all his life Carlos' mind was always imagining the best.

"I felt the same way when I first came to Los Angeles." she told him as he nodded, "It's like a trip down memory road with this story. There may be good times and there may be bad, but the good ones are totally worth listening to the bad ones."

"Well hello Mrs. Deep Thinker." Carlos replied as she giggled shaking her head. He had to agree with her on that one because she was right. Even after so much bad happened in Carlos' life a lot of good happened too and he was grateful for the good times.

He really was.

**to be continued...**


	8. Chapter 8: July 2008 & June 2005

**an-**omg this story has been updated in forevereverever. to shewolf-971 i hope you get to read this because i really did not want to be a murderer.

i also wrote more for this story than any chapter in awhile SO YESSSS.

also so many errors in the chapter and date structures i need to fix man. argggggggggh.

**tw-** incest rape.

* * *

"Tell me about your firsts." Camille smiles, her fingers still laced against her cup of lemonade, a smile to the elderly woman's lips as she tilted her head gently to take the last remains of the drink before paying attention to Carlos. He likes the way she seems so curious about his story, or better yet his and Logan's story. Her eyes glazed over and wide at certain parts, clapping and 100 watt smiles that made Carlos sort of smile a bit too. He likes the way Camille is so intrigued.

But a pang of guilty sort of rushes through him when she asks or he notices the way her eyes darken or smile falter, because it was always Camille who loved Logan and was always going to be in love with Logan. The guy was her first love, her husband until his death. And it must of sucked for her to realize every single day that the person you loved would never feel the same way.

And for some reason Camille wasn't mad at him, if anything she wanted him to talk to her. Tell her everything from the first time Logan and him made love with every glorious detail not skimmed out or the way his kisses felt like electric and talk to him for hours, hours on end after. These were things Camille would try to redo but realized no matter how much either of them were in the end it was one big show with Camille the better actress as always and keeping a smile for she was so madly and utterly in love with Logan.

Carlos wanted to tell Camille right then to let him go. To stop loving Logan, to go on with her life especially with the fact he was dead. He wanted to shake her by her nimble little shoulders and scream to find someone who will love her for her and not just use her for some kind of closure or jealous rage. For it was Camille to whom Carlos was feeling horrible for, the one being tricked on by Logan and hated by him for so long. It was Camille who had everything crash on her and it was Camille who knew she was living in a scripted show but instead of stopping the cameras kept the acting job going.

Not to mention he couldn't just tell her to stop, to stop loving Logan. Logan was someone you just couldn't stop loving. His brown eyes always looking at you, a smile that made anyone melt. It was hard, and Carlos knew it. The way he stumbled when anyone brought up Logan's name, the way he'd dial his number over and over until Logan changed it. Carlos could even remember hopeless nights when he'd stay awake looking up at the ceiling, wanting to cry but realizing that he couldn't, for a beautiful young woman was next to him that anyone would want to talk nonetheless be married to.

"Carlos, Carlos tell me more." a voice cracked and he stopped out of his trance and smiled wide looking over to Camille, her eyes wide and eyebrows creased together as she leaned into her seat, "Tell me more, tell me about firsts!"

And Carlos laughed, shrugged his shoulders and furrowed an eyebrow concerned, "I don't know I mean, if you want I could but are you sure you want to hear all of this?" his voice trailed off as he spoke and Carlos looked at Camille sternly, wanting to make sure she was okay with him talking about him and Logan to the woman who was in love with his ex-husband without her off crying or angrily shoving her fists in the air. But she didn't say a word, not a thing against it and nodded, "Okay then, which first?"

"First kiss." she replied.

"His or ours?"

She furrowed an eyebrow, "So you weren't his first kiss?" Camille asked as Carlos shook his head, "Okay then, both."

"Okay."

* * *

**_july 2, 2008_**

After the first party Logan was invited to he was immediately deemed as that one loser who totally got tricked at a party. People shoved him into lockers and laughed at him when he would try to fight back. Which was at first he would fight back but eventually Logan stopped fighting and just took it. Every black eye and blooding lip was just another part of his day and Carlos would end up being the one waiting after the bad guys left, an ice pack in his hand ready to place on Logan's bruises as they walked home to Carlos' house.

Because for some reason Logan didn't let Carlos go to his house still, not then not ever. He would sleep over at Carlos' house and have dinner there but Logan refused to have Carlos inside his house, let alone sleep there late at night. The only time Carlos could remember going to Logan's house was when his mom was out of town and the two of them were alone in Logan's room reading comics and drinking sodas until Carlos decided it'd be funny if they tried something weird and Logan said his mom had drugs in her room and Carlos decided to go along and try some of it out.

And sure there was some silly things happening, Carlos' hand on Logan's face or Logan's hand on his knee. Faces dangerously close and fingers dangling from friend zone to boyfriend zone. Sometimes Logan would make jokes about sex and fake penises he found in his mom's cabinet and Carlos would roll his eyes and talk about gay porn he found in Anthony's cabinet the two of them watched one day for the sake of it.

Since the two of them never thought of it as 'weird' but instead normal, just things teenage boys are curious about. It was like watching straight porn watching gay porn, just curiosity on how two guys had sex. Where one thing went or what one guy did and so on so forth. It wasn't like they were going to end up making out on the couch or something.

So it was normal, and one day Logan decided to invite Carlos to his house again since his mom was going to be out that week for a meeting with her new boyfriend. She still was the same woman she was before, the woman whose fingers liked to roam against Logan's body, her lips pressed against the side of his face and towards his body until she reached her target spot but she was gone for a little while, which was all he needed.

['cause to be honest those little moments with him and carlos together, being best friends and all were worth everything. logan would trade anything for a few more seconds telling some stupid joke with carlos or just watching a movie with him no matter how stupid it was]

And so Logan invited him over, offering up his house anytime he could for the two of them as they sat around Logan's house in different places, either the pool or in his bedroom or his mom's bedroom or her study. Sometimes they'd just explore the place, finding new parts like a short little adventure.

That day Logan decided he and Carlos would hang out in the attic, a small little hiding spot Carlos had found Logan the last time he was there that Logan learned to lock when his mom was out looking for him or when he simply wanted to be alone. He managed to bring a blanket there, some CDs and snacks when he got hungry. He had all his favorite books, The Little Prince and classic novels their teachers made them read that Carlos hated listening to in class but would listen for hours to when Logan read them to him, pointing out every detail and piece of wording the other boy had highlighted.

Logan brought some of the drugs his mom had gotten for herself and a lighter. Carlos brought some beers he took from his father's cabinet. The two drank and spit out the drink because they both agreed it was kind of gross but at the same time they kept drinking and eating the pizza Logan ordered with his mom's credit card as Logan decided to light up a joint for the two of them handing it to Carlos after a huff while he took another and so on so forth until their eyes glazed over.

"We should shot gun." Logan mumbled as Carlos furrowed an eyebrow his mind still fuzzy, "Let me show you."

And Logan did, instructing Carlos to keep his mouth open as he moved his lips closer to his until they pressed together and he breathed in the smoke into Carlos' mouth. Carlos remembering what to do letting out the smoke just as Logan had told them.

Then petty shotgunning and messing around turned into fooling around and Carlos found himself on top of Logan, lips towards the other boy's as he kissed him hard and fast. His tongue against his cheek, eyes closed and fingers running through the other boy's hair as Logan kissed him back. His hips bucking in towards Carlos' as he started to thrust slowly, enough that Carlos had felt himself grow hard from the friction and a small moan escape his lips.

And suddenly Carlos' hands laid on Logan's pants, dangling to his zipper as every dangerously close encounter with them hooking up came to this moment and Carlos wasn't sure what the hell he was doing but at the same time he didn't care because whether he was gay or not he was enjoying himself and he was enjoying kissing Logan for the first time and maybe he was gay, or maybe he wasn't but whatever he could think about it later.

"S-Stop!"

The sound suddenly ran through and Logan had started crying, sobbing almost as Carlos' eyes grew wide. He furrowed an eyebrow, chewed against his own lower lip and grabbed Logan's hand trying to calm him down. But Logan was already freaking out, screaming almost and yelling and Carlos didn't know if it was because of the drugs or the beer or if he did something but Logan was crying and he was screaming and Carlos watched in horror as the moment fell from absolutely amazing to absolutely terrifying.

Logan on the other hand was just scared, and crying. For through his eyes he saw a monster, and not any kind of monster but a monster with red hair and blue eyes who screamed at her lost husband and touched her son and and and he didn't know what to do because he just saw a monster and nothing else and everything suddenly amplified and he was suffocating he was drowning, he couldn't breathe.

The next day Logan found himself in his bed tucked in and in his pajamas. Carlos was out of sight and his mom wasn't home yet. He twisted his head, it aching from the hangover he knew would probably haunt him for awhile and thanked God it was summer vacation. Picking up his phone Logan furrowed an eyebrow as he looked over to see if his mom had called, knowing she would kill him if he never answered her back as a faint little one was on the top signaling a voicemail.

Shit. She called.

He pressed the voicemail button and pressed the phone to his ear, a sigh against his lips as a number of excuses ran through his head. Oh hockey practice went longer and he was really tired or maybe he could say he was feeling sick.

"Hey it's Carlos."

Logan paused.

_"Hey yeah it's Carlos, sorry I left my dad wanted me home because Anthony had to leave at like 2 for work so I had to watch my sister. But hey I hope everything is okay because I was really worried about you and everything and just, if you ever need to talk to me I'm here for you okay. I love you man._"

There was a pause.

_"Oh and, if you don't want me to tell anyone about what uh, what happened I won't I promise. We can pretend it never okay? Thanks for letting me stay over though it was uh fun. We could hang out today too if you want I don't know, Caroline and I were going to go to the park so you could tag along. All right see you buddy."_

Logan hung up and smiled closing his eyes. Tracing his fingers against the outline of his mouth.

Carlos on the other hand was determined to figure who this monster was.

_**june 20, 2005**_

The thing with Ashley Mitchell that's strange is how seducing she could be.

With smokey blue eyes and red hair she had a smile that could hide a million little secrets and could find every organ and tell the functions.

And with that she immediately won the heart of a boy who was more crazy then everyone thought.

But he didn't show it, with his big brown eyes and big toothed smile and the smart way he held a medical book being able to map out every bone in the body and not even hesitate on the femur or funny bone.

And in the end the two broken pieces created a broken piece of a boy.

On June 20 Ashley walked her way to the Logan's room, fingers trailing against her side twitching to touch something sweet, something to make her alive. Something like a small boy filled with life with big brown eyes similar to her husband's.

And she decided to steal his life, his innocence. And letting her fingers trail against his side, the inside of his shirt Ashley Mitchell snuck inside her son's bed, her body cradled close to his as she let her robe slip out of her body and onto the ground.

"M-Mommy." the boy choked out and she quietly shushed him, the sweet woman she once was telling her boy to do something special for her, something only a sweet little boy like Logan could do. She pressed her mouth against his and tasted him, a sweet taste to the boy as she told him to kiss her back, hands towards her chest, down to her special area. He winced, started to cry and asked her to stop. But Ashley begged Logan to keep going, to help his mommy out during her tough time.

"Please sweetie please, just do it for mommy. You love mommy right?"

That day Logan Mitchell got his first kiss.

But it wasn't something he wanted to remember.

If anything it was the one thing he wanted to forget.


End file.
